Can you name what you’re feeling? Do you know the words to communicate what and how you feel? Most of us know the basic emotions: happy, sad, angry and worried. But there’s much more nuance to these emotions.
WHEN I WROTE THIS I INITIALLY FELT:
Deep melancholy. Pissed off. I felt my not-self feeling sorry for itself. Sad, like I want to cry, because I feel inadequate for no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to … which makes me feel like I’ve failed and the people I love most will leave me. It doesn’t matter if it’s real or perceived. The body doesn’t know the difference! I felt tension in my body (tight jaw and muscles) I felt cold and I felt shivers.
And a consequence of these feelings is that I can’t deal with a lot. Where I’m usually really calm, unbothered and resilient, I’m now very easily triggered irritated and snappy. Especially towards my son 😔 To me, that is unacceptable. So I take responsibility for my emotions and release them in a (for me) healthy way.
It’s okay and necessary to feel what I feel. But it’s not okay for me to start there and let it ruin my day, my joy, my parenting or my relationships.
These emotions aren’t new to me. They’re so familiar, you could say we know each other intimately. We’ve known each other for years and the ‘danger’ of that is that you no longer know how to feel good and function without them. I learned how to name them with the help op the emotional wheel.
REWIRING THEM ISN'T THAT EASY
Thing is, lessening those emotions (having them less frequent) isn’t that easy. Because – here comes the wonder of our bodies – the body is addicted to these. You see, when you have a thought like this, it triggers an emotional response, that emotional response sends a feedback loop throughout the body and releases stress hormones. These hormones attach themselves to the receptors of our cells. But when these stress neurotransmitters are on the receptors, it means that the good and happy neurotransmitters aren’t able to attach themselves. So they’re literally blocking you from feeling good and even hinder the absorption of nutrients into the cells.
This is not your fault. And it’s not a lack of willpower on your part. It’s simply that your body is addicted to these stress chemicals. Your nervous system is so used to this state of being, it marked that state as safe. Even though your consciously it’s not.
So what, is there no hope? Of course there is. But it’s not gonna happen overnight. It takes time, grace, determination and aligned action to change these neuro patterns in the body.
SO, WHAT CAN YOU DO TO TRANSFORM THESE PATTERNS
- Acknowledge how you feel and name the emotions and sensations you’re feeling. To name what you’re feeling, you can use the emotional wheel.
- Sit with them, what do they want to tell you.
- What motivates you to transform your energetic state
- Then you pick a tool that works best for you
Let me give you a few examples:
My son is my greatest motivator to dive deeper, do the shadow work and release my emotions and attachments so I can show up for him as my most aligned self. So I can be present with him.
Great tools to help rewire this bodily response are:
Exercise. The great thing about exercise is that it uses these stress hormones while releasing serotonin, endorphins and neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine and endorphins which make us feel good.
Another thing you can do, especially when you combine it with exercise, is EFT. EFT means emotional freedom technique and is better known as tapping. EFT uses a combination of words and energetics. While you recite the words, you’re tapping on important meridian ends in the body, disrupting the addictive bodily reaction while releasing ‘the good stuff’.
Another amazing tool to use is breathwork. We all breathe. Most of us unconsciously but breath means life. Breathwork has the potential to shift and release huge stuck patterns from your body.
Take some time for yourself to journal on these questions:
- What am I feeling?
- What does that feeling want to tell me?
- Do these thoughts and feelings occur often
- What do I want to do to transform them
Thanks to the tools I’ve gathered over the years, I can transform it easily and fast. (This “shit” took no longer than 30 minutes).
If you don’t yet know how to aplly this emotional mastery in your day to day life, but you do want to learn and work with it, you’re more than welcome to book a breakthrough session and receive deep transformitive guidance.
UNLEASH the MASTER in you.
Much love, Hanneke